There’s nothing like a freak ice storm to make me crave a tropical vacation. Warm, sandy beaches, gentle ukulele music, streaming sunlight, being fired from a slingshot in an attempt to rescue a captured princess—there’s really no substitute. I guess the closest I’m going to get for now is playing Brave Beak [Free], a tropical adventure with an island soundtrack that just might help me forget that I’m a hollow shell of a person waiting for the barren landscape to crack and bring even a glimpse of the glorious spring that is to come.

In Brave Beak, you control a cranky little parrot on a mission. You must direct him through a tropical paradise knocking down obstacles, freeing prisoners, collecting treasure and gobbling up fish, rainbows and even bits of the moon to keep his energy up and save a captured princess. I'm not sure why the bird is so very, very cranky (perhaps the pressure of being a parrot forced to fly through space itself and rescue a princess single-wingedly got to him), but during the course of the game a lot of valuable island real estate is damaged, ships are sunk, and (in a move sure to...ruffle a few feathers) local wildlife get unceremoniously slapped out of the way.

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Bacon. Cat videos. Zombies. There are some things in popular culture that just don’t get enough attention. Luckily for us, however, the undead are getting a second life thanks to Zxh Games’ Shoot Many Zombies [Free].

Shoot Many Zombies is pretty much exactly like it sounds. In this side-scrolling shooter, you shoot zombies. A lot of zombies. It’s mindless, attractive zombie-killing mayhem, at a perfect pace: not too fast a pace to be frustrating, not so slow that you’ll try to strategize your way through it.

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Did you know that penguins spend up to 75% of their time underwater, looking for food in the ocean? Or, if Chillingo’s recent Greedy Penguins [99¢/Lite] is to be believed, they spend 85% of their time on ice floes, waiting for you to feed them, 10% of their time playing guitar and burping, and 5% of their time getting eaten by ravenous Orcas.

Greedy Penguins is a bird-centric physics puzzler (what a concept!) that revolves around you finding ways to get incredibly stressed-out fish in the mouths of the correspondingly-colored penguins. You tap the fish to drop it from its hook and get it rolling, then through a combination of timing and obstacle-clearing, get it to the right-colored penguin. Once your penguin is successfully fed, he coughs up ice cream, which you tap to feed each level’s companion and get bonus points when completing the level, garnering a one, two, or three-fish rating.

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So I made all kinds of resolutions for the New Year. Yes I am aware of how dumb that sounds, and I know what you’re thinking. "Oh, resolutions never work, you have to make gradual lifestyle changes" or "You make the same resolutions every year" or "Why would anyone need to resolve to not get arrested outside Jeff Goldblum’s apartment?" etc. etc. But hey, it’s my life and my dreams, OK?!

Besides, one of my resolutions, the one striving to reintroduce simplicity in my life, led me to discover a really charming puzzle game for your perusal. That game is Blockwick [Free] by Kieffer Bros. It’s my new favorite puzzle game, and it may just become yours, too.

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You guys, I had the Worst Christmas Ever this year. No, it’s not because I didn’t get an iPad 2 – I mean, it’s pretty much a job requirement for me to be set in that department – so my (ex-) friends and (former) loved ones are off the hook for that. No, what I can’t get over is the fact that Santa did not leave me a puppy this year. Seriously, I blew up Twitter for weeks with links to dog videos and pet adoption websites and no one picked up on the hints? Collective friends and family, you are dead to me.

Luckily, RagTag Studio's Puppy Panic [$.99] is here to numb my pain. A cute, well-made endless runner, Puppy Panic helped take my mind off of the callousness of those most dear to me by presenting me with a stable of eight (nine, if you count the secret one) puppies for me to race and play with. Each puppy has special abilities unique to their breed that help it in various ways throughout the game’s two modes. When you start with the Beagle, for example, you can double-jump really high, and when you get the Eskimo, you can bark and clear all the obstacles from your path.

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Living in Southern California, I spend most holidays in front of a space heater watching White Christmas on TV and wishing I was one-half of a musical comedy duo trying to gain the affections of two sisters while saving the inn of my old Army commander.

But more than that, what I want more than anything is the snow that the movie is named for. I sit inside daydreaming about that beautiful, luscious blanket of powder covering the ground (yes, I realized that they probably filmed that movie on a sound stage not far from me, but a girl can dream!) while red-faced children fling snowballs at each other. Alas, as that is unlikely to occur pretty much ever, I’ve been making do with Snow Fight [Free].

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Did you love shooting galleries as a kid? Ever pretend that you were a Wild West sheriff? Have you ever rationalized killing hundreds of people by pretending that they’re just plywood target practice cutouts? If you answered yes to at least one of the above, you are going to love McGyro [99¢]!

McGyro is a first-person shooter that utilizes your device’s internal gyroscope to aim at bad guys. You play as Sheriff McGyro (originally leading me to hope that this was some kind of Blazing Saddles/MacGyver hybrid; alas, no), a small town Wild West law enforcement officer who can’t handle the idea of killing actual living things, so he envisions them as plywood cutouts instead. (Kind of like when people tell you to imagine the audience is naked before you give a speech, but with more murdering and less nudity.)

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You don’t have to be an app hipster to be a little affronted when your favorite app hits the big time and everyone starts playing it. Really, are there many things more annoying than logging into Facebook only to see that your 11th grade lab partner has posted five hundred achievements from what was previously your favorite game? Instead of making passive aggressive comments on their status updates (“Wow, at least being unemployed gives you the opportunity to really master Angry Birds!”), channel that righteous anger into downloading Princess Punt [Free], a game that you are certain to be the first (and perhaps last) person on the block to be playing.

Before getting into the game itself, a warning is in order. There are plenty of things you will hate about this game. Endless popups after every level urging you to post every inane achievement to Facebook and Twitter, the out-of-place slot machine minigame that’s basically an in-app purchase cash grab, the agonizingly long loading times. Oh, and the eleven (eleven!!) in-game updates that have to download before you can begin (lord help you poor saps using a 3G connection to download them; wi-fi is definitely recommended!). Also, the default language is Japanese, so keep an eye out for the language options after installation—not that it really matters, because the loading screen text and tutorials don’t make any sense in English, either.

Long story short(ish): It’s confusing and difficult to get into. Why, then, is it worthy of a review?

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You know how around Halloween you bought five bags of Fun Size Snickers to give out to trick or treaters, but somehow only three bags made it into the candy bowl and now you’re feeling really bloated and gross and you really need to look good for upcoming holiday parties so you’re eating grilled salmon three times a day and that would be fine, except all you can think about is how you really want to eat a bunch of donuts and cake and candy? Yeah, uh, me neither. However, it’s obvious that the people at Com2uS were in throes of weight loss-related fantasy when creating their latest game, Chocohero [$.99].

Before we get too far, we need to establish whether or not you should play this game. Are you diabetic? Has your dentist recommended you stay away from sweet, delicious candy? If so, you shouldn’t have a problem, because this is a video game and not real life, duh. You play as Chipster, the Chocohero the game is named for, who must save his Chocobit friends from an impending milk flood in the land of Smoresdom. These Chocobits (which look a little like bunnies, except better because they are candy) are trapped on delicious pastry ledges made of things called Cakems, which you must destroy or work around in order to rescue your friends before the floods come.

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Growing up, I had one of those grandfathers that was obsessed with gold and keeping money out of the banks. He used to show me these little pieces of gold he had and would be like “If you work hard, all this can be yours.” (In other news, my grandfather may be Scrooge McDuck.) As such, I’m sure he would be a superfan of Colorbox’s Peak Gold [$.99/UHD], a fun little hooking game dedicated to the pursuit of gold.

Peak Gold might be lacking in coherent tutorials (sample text: “Reach 1000m depth and collect Big Diamond to PEAK GOLD!”), but it makes up for it with cutesy graphics, fun hooking action and challenging levels. Seriously, for being marketed as a casual game, this sucker is difficult. The premise is simple enough; tap the screen to grab gold and other goodies while avoiding bats and rocks before running out of time.

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Fall 2011 is the unofficial season of anthropomorphized penguins. Don’t believe me? Between the penguin sweater craze and the release of Happy Feet 2, adorable penguins are everywhere. Now, a third entry into fall’s penguin lineup is here in the form of BulkyPix’s super-cute new game, Crazy Escape [99¢]. And this one answers the question on everybody’s mind: Can penguins drive tiny penguin cars, and if so, is it extra-adorable?

It’s a story as old as time itself: Two penguin buddies have to take to their Jeep (err, low-emission 4x4 of indeterminate branding, I should say) to save their sheep friends from being kidnapped and eaten by wolves. As these penguins race along the winding road, they must collect sheep, stars (ostensibly because penguins like shiny objects?), keys (to unchain locked-up sheep, of course!), and avoid stationary wolves, roaming wolves, chasing wolves – basically wolves of all kinds, all right?! You can run into fences (good) and trees (bad!), and the less road you cover to complete the level, the better.

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There’s just something about word games that make you feel like you’re accomplishing something in your free time. You’re not simply killing time; you’re expanding your very mind. Perhaps this is why games like Text Twist and What’s My Word have gone down in the annals (uh, it's a real word, which you would know if you played more word games, you pervert) of my favorite apps of all time. And just when I had given up hope of finding another worthy addition to that club, Spuzzle, Inc.’s Word vs Word [$.99] has earned its way onto the list. Felicitations all around!

I’m not going to sugarcoat it – this game is going to frustrate you. But if you’re like me/into punishment, you’re going to love it. It’s not only because the words are particularly challenging (finally, another chance to use that SAT dictionary!), but because this is really a logic game disguised as a word game. Words With Friends this ain’t.

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As a kid, I was a claw machine master. I came home with more stuffed animals than I knew what to do with, and I used to love impressing my elementary school friends by making it rain with ill-conceived toys like bootleg Space Jam plushes. So when the opportunity to review Fugazo’s new game, Rocket Claw [99¢], came up, I jumped at the chance. Finally, a chance to impress my friends with my claw abilities once more!

OK, so it’s not a true claw machine game. Rather, you’re a little smiley-faced robot named C.L.A.W.D. (Clamping Long-Arm Winch Device, if you must know) out in space with, you guessed it, a rocket claw. This claw can grab, destroy, and deflect objects. The catch is, you can only do one thing at a time; once you deploy the claw to, say, deflect a comet, you can’t send out the claw again until it comes back. So while you attempt to save wayward astronauts and their space dogs, you're going to be thwarted at every opportunity by asteroids, aliens, comets, giant hunks of debris, and black holes.

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Poor Timmy is not having a good day. CB Labs’ The Adventures of Timmy: Run Kitty Run [99¢] starts off in the thick of Timmy’s misery: He’s a playground outcast in a cat costume whose only friend/probable true love, Kitty, gets snatched away and held prisoner in hulking bully Mitch’s tree house. Rather than accept this, however, Timmy puts his cat suit’s hood up and gets down to business—a rescue operation that spans 36 levels of 2D platforming awesomeness.

There’s a reason that some of our forum users compare Run Kitty Run to classics like Super Mario Bros. It shares a lot of elements, from the rescue angle to gathering coins. Probably the most important similarity, though, is the way you feel playing it. It’s challenging, sometimes frustrating, but often rewarding.

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