Urban Crime

In Urban Crime, you’re thrown into a world run by a multitude of gangs and are told to conquer it territory by territory. You’ll accomplish this by running randomly generated missions until you fill up an arbitrary meter that allows you to take out a rival gang leader. Eliminate said leader and you earn a piece of territory and you start over again. Completing missions also earns money and experience which is used to level up and unlock random rewards. Missions are divided into standard subtypes ranging from assassinations to drag races to escort missions. While I didn’t particularly have any issues with the missions, I found them becoming repetitive rather quickly.

One of the big differences in Urban Crime compared to similar titles is its complete reliance on freemium. To put it bluntly, the switch to freemium is poorly implemented and gets in the way of a lot of elements that are staples for this genre. As an example, let’s take carjacking. Imagine running from the cops and spotting an awesome sports car to aid in your getaway. You get close, press the button to highjack, and get a message saying you don’t have a high enough level to steal this car. Of course, you can buy diamonds (the in-game premium currency) to let you steal it instantly, but that would be ridiculous. I could understand clothing, skillsets, and even weapons tied to the leveling system, but being able to steal certain cars? That’s just silly.

The above example is just the tip of the iceberg in regards to freemium. Gameloft’s notorious energy system also makes a return. It doesn’t go as far shutting the game down when you run out of energy, but if you do run out, you will not be able to play new missions until your energy recovers. You can do this by spending your premium currency to recharge, waiting awhile for it to naturally build up, or by gaining levels. Granted, the first hour or so of content seems to be relatively stable as far as energy is concerned (since you continue to gain levels and thus energy at a steady pace). However, once you get to the point where you have to do a lot of missions to even gain levels, you’re going to be bottlenecked very quickly.

Another area of Urban Crime that I’m disappointed in is the sacrifice of an overall story in favor of the strict mission based gameplay. Sure, Gangstar wasn’t particularly known for its epic storytelling, but at least there was an overarching tale that sought to bring you in. Urban Crime simply puts you in the city and tells you to take it over for no other reason other than that. Outside of the initial prompt at the start of the game, the only story found lies in the fragmented mission texts which offer nothing of value and are just an excuse to go out and cause more havoc. What’s worse, since this game reuses the assets of Gangstar: Miami Vindication, you won’t even have the pleasure (what little there is) of exploring a new world if you’ve played that game before.

There’re a few other elements within Urban Crime that I haven’t addressed yet, but might factor in your choice to check this out. The visuals look like they came from a game made a few years ago (which they are) and do not compare to any games recently released. Despite this, I still encountered a lot of obnoxious pop-up and frame rate issues, even on the most recent iOS devices. The controls are probably one of the few areas of the game that are adequate, with a few different schemes that give you the option of touch controls or the accelerometer. However, when you combine any control method with the poor frame rate, most gamers will probably be frustrated regardless.

I’m really not sure what Gameloft is trying to do with Urban Crime. Yes, it’s a freemium game and the whole point is to attract folks under the guise of free play and eventually get them to shell out with IAP. However, in order for that to work, you have to actually want to play the game in the first place before you even think about spending money in the game. With its complete lack of narrative, boring mission structure, antiquated visuals, spotty controls and monotonous gameplay, I don’t know who would want to play this, much less eventually spend money within it. If you’re looking for a free-roaming third-person shooter on your iOS device, go pick up GTA 3 [$5.99] if you haven’t already done so. Otherwise, just stay away from here.

The story takes place in Jurassic Park sans electrical fences -- basically, right after Dr. Hammond, Malcolm and the rest of the crew bail on Isla Nublar and its new occupying force, dinosaurs. You'll be following a new cast of characters, including a well-equipped ... contractor lady sent in to assist Nedry with his capture of the dinosaur embryos, a veterinarian, and the vet's daughter, who obviously has some issues with her family life.

Probably the coolest thing about the game is how hard the world hits you in the jaw. It is the place you remember from the movie, right down to the signs, Jeeps, and specific audio. I also love the fan service Telltale throws in; the Mr. DNA callback in the middle of a T-Rex fight is probably the most awesomely absurd of the bunch, but you'll also hear talk of Muldoon and Hammond from a new perspective.

This isn't your typical Telltale adventure game, by the way. It's much more focused on cinematics than usual and you never directly control the people the story is focusing on. The puzzle segments, for example, are simple search and find dalliances -- just point, click, and watch the characters interact. This never bothered me. The lack of control bolsters an overall cinematic purpose, as the core of the best mechanical action of Jurassic Park: The Game hinges on some insanely harrowing interactive scenes featuring plenty of dinosaurs.

These scenes, mechanically, are pretty similar to what you might have seen in Heavy Rain: you'll be presented with a fast-flowing scenario, and you'll need to hit a bunch of contextual prompts to replicate what a character goes through in a scene.

In Jurassic Park, for example, you'll need to rub, push, and pull on certain spots on the screen to hurdle through the jungle of an exhibit as spitting dinosaurs chase you, or, a little bit later, avoid a T-Rex as he hulks out on the cast. I'm not the biggest fan of these kinds of games in general, but I did find some fun with Telltale's scenes, and mainly because of the effective tension. Telltale absolutely nails the drama and emotion of being confronted by a house-sized lizard. Also, the repercussion for screwing up in a scene is always death, so there's a reason to be on your game.

The bummer with the game in general is that each of these heart-pumping sequences are sandwiched by much more laid back and fairly easy puzzle sections. They feel sluggish in comparison and just don't gel well with everything else the game offers.

But there's bigger problems with the iPad 2 version of Jurassic Park: The Game: it's on the borderline of unplayable due to a myriad of technical issues. We don't recommend that you bother with it, actually, despite the fact that this game delivers on a lot of different levels. On the Mac or PC, though? Check it out.

NOTE: Screenshots from other, much higher-resolution versions of the Jurassic Park: The Game. Also, we finished the first episode on a Mac after tiring of the iPad 2 version's clunkiness.

Namco Bandai, also no strangers to digging up cheap old franchises and pawning them off on unsuspecting gamers, decided to capitalize on the popularity(?) of the series by releasing Antiques Roadshow [$4.99] for iOS. After taking a monocled eye and a white gloved hand to this title from start all the way to laborious finish, how does it fare in appraisal? Let’s just say it’s going to take more than some wood glue and a certificate of authenticity to justify the price of this junk.

Antiques Roadshow attempts to do for collectible hunting what Indiana Jones did for archeology, by playing up the glamorous, mysterious, dangerous, and metaphysically profound lifestyle of an expert antique hunter. In the game, you play as Julia, an enthusiast who takes a job at an antique store to pursue her life’s passion. The plot quickly thickens as her new boss presents her with a shred of photo featuring a mysterious item and a secret code inscribed on the back. Julia rushes off to find the item in a foreclosed farmhouse before anyone else gets their greedy paws on it.

I’ll come back to the edge-of-your-seat storytelling in just a bit, but first let’s talk about the non-stop action on tap here. Antiques Roadshow is essentially a skin for yet another photo hunt game; touch the hidden objects to cross them off your list. Then touch them again because only a tiny sliver of the object is visible and the touchscreen won’t register your tap accurately enough. Repeat until the screen decides to be charitable or your bratwurst-like fingers grow skinnier due to malnourishment.

Most gamers, when confronted by a hidden object title, will quickly resort to turbo-clicking around the screen hoping to get lucky and circumvent some of the searching. This game tries to keep you honest by making it so that if you tap too many times in succession the screen becomes covered in virtual dust that you "stirred up"  by searching too quickly. You then must “wipe” the dust off the screen to continue hunting. The first few times were cool and novel, but when you factor in the sloppy input sensitivity, just trying to get a single item cleared from the screen resulted in a dust storm as often as not. By the end of the game, I began wishing the white powder was anthrax.

Meanwhile, the mysterious item Julia finds at the farmhouse contains another shred of the photo featuring another item which you must then go to another location to find, which leads you to another shred of the photo. It's a glorious rendition of “I’m Henery the VIII, I Am” that sends you back and forth to a small handful of scenes over and over and over and over and… well, I think I’ve made my point. It's truly rare that I wish an iOS game was shorter.

In addition to the story items and junk items that you can find, you will also stumble across other hidden items that can be taken to the Antiques Roadshow in between photo hunts. These trips to the Roadshow represent the game’s only deviation from the tap-a-licious core mechanics in the form of mini-games. Before presenting your items to the Roadshow experts, you must do the one thing that every Roadshow expert on television tells you NOT to: restore your found items yourself. That’s right, Julia is a rebel, the nihilistic bad-girl of the antiques world. Priceless 1700’s armoire falling apart? Just squeeze some wood glue in the cracks like a boss. One of a kind Civil War uniform looking a little frumpy? Then search through a pile of your old buttons to find matches for the originals and just sew them on!

You think I’m joking about Julia’s penchant for mayhem, but don’t let her conservative attire fool you. Beneath that Stepford Wives exterior lies the heart of a felon. Julia is constantly finding items that allow her to access previously blocked areas, and she is not afraid to use them. After getting her B&E on by using a sledgehammer to smash open the door to a shed, she later in the game opens a grave in an ancient crypt by shattering the marble in with another hammer, and blows open a century old chest with an M80 firecracker that she found abandoned for years in another location. Clearly, Julia takes the honey badger approach to the acquisition of historical artifacts.

Julia’s story gets progressively more and more absurd, and not in a good Japanese development kind of way. The game climaxes in an Empire Strikes Back-like familial revelation, the discovery of a lost pirate stash, and a wildly presumptuous set-up for an Antiques Roadshow sequel. Let’s put it this way. This plot’s plausibility makes National Treasure look like a PBS documentary.

With the exception of infrequent trips to the Roadshow, there’s none of the cool historical information that gives the television show its redeeming qualities. Throw in the painfully repetitive tapping, the abysmally unresponsive nature of all iOS hidden-item touchscreen inputs, the irritatingly unfair dust-on-the-screen mechanic, and a dash of insultingly simple mini-games and there’s just no excuse. In the far flung future, however, this game may have great value; iPads with this game still on it will no doubt be rare beyond belief.

Discounting rhythm games like Rock Band where vocal input allows for no deviation, the only contemporary title I can think of that has tackled the problem with any degree of competency is Tom Clancy’s End War. Unfortunately, voice controls in games are essentially like tequila shots. They sound like the best idea in the world at the time, but a few hours later you just end up disoriented, frustrated, and violently nauseous. It was in such a cavalier mood that I chose to pick up Starglow Magic Spells [Free], and I am now paying the price.

The game puts you in the role of an apprentice magician who must learn five different classes of spells in order to graduate from wizard school. Each spell is a series of words and syllables, where you must determine the correct phonetic pronunciation and then speak the resulting Simlish-like gibberish into your phone. The game then spits back how many of the words of the spell you got correct. Thankfully, there’s a practice mode that allows you to suss out the correct emphasis and intonations prior to testing your diction with the teachers of the five classes of magic.

This game’s only saving grace is that once you figure out what pronunciation a given spell is looking for, the voice recognition part of the software works fantastically. The problem is that the phonetic rules are often difficult to decipher and don’t appear to remain constant from class to class (or even spell to spell). As such, you’ll find yourself rapidly getting angrier and angrier with the game. You know those new-fangled automated customer service systems that have you slowly over-pronouncing words (i.e. “Billing. Bill-ing. BILL-ing. Bill-ING. Billing! BILLING!!! ARRRGHEGGHGAHGAH!”) into your phone? That’s essentially the entire experience of playing Starglow Magic Spells.

Then there’s the issue of feedback and payoff. What’s my reward for practicing until I get a spell right? I get to move on to the next spell! There’s no reinforcement of success whatsoever. I just spent 5 minutes talking baby talk and you can’t even show me a static drawing of the wall of flame I supposedly summoned? That’s ca-ca.

I was done with the game after I completed two classes, which ended up being wildly convenient, as this is when the pay wall hit. In the interests of masochistic science, I attempted to hit the IAP to unlock the three remaining schools only to get an error every time. So, now I’m an involuntary magic school drop-out, and I feel like a better man for it despite the stigma I now face when socializing in professional mage circles. The game does have a multiplayer mode available to allow you to face off against other spellcasters, but unfortunately, I was never able to find an opponent to test my incoherent mutterings with. Maybe that’s because Arcane U is out on summer vacation?

My wife walked into the office where I was playing Starglow Magic Spells a few days ago. At first, she stopped and looked at me cockeyed in confusion. Then, she stared at me blankly, not believing. Finally she shrugged, and walked away snickering and shaking her head. I can’t think of a better summary of this game than that. I applaud the developers for trying to tackle a difficult game design problem and for the precision of their voice recognition work. That being said, I’d advise keeping your distance unless you like the idea of being that crazy vagrant outside the 7-11 who keeps arguing with his hand.

Like most fixed-turret games, the nuts and bolts are wildly simple. You control a turret and the trajectory of its ammunition. The goal is to knock down physics-enabled constructs which nest a special object or objects. In this specific case, you’re firing balls at satellites sitting atop flimsy towers made of materials like wood or concrete.

The first-person perspective is actually kinda neat since it forces you to think around the 3D towers. Want to hit a satellite sitting behind a thick cement shield? You’ll need to pull the trajectory of the ball way up and give the firing mechanism just enough steam to crest and then hit behind the wall. You can also employ brute force tactics, but where's the fun in that?

Within these physics-based mechanics is where the game falls apart. Bizango’s engine is stupidly unpredictable. It’s also prone to technical errors. I’ve run into issues with objects hanging in the air with no supports on several occasions. Also, balls can clip through barriers completely or take wild bounces off of supports and deal zero damage to what you hit initially.

While I can take a bug or two under normal circumstances, these are catastrophic. The entire game is built around the core conceit that the physics engine is reliable and there just isn’t any actual reliability to be had. When the game introduces the egg (a breakable object that you're tasked to save from calamity), this unpredictability causes way to many problems. It becomes almost unplayable.

I’m also having trouble sussing out what the puzzles want me to do. Bizango isn’t so great at telegraphing via design, which has led me into spirals of testing each individual little shot I take. A bit of direction isn’t a bad thing, especially when you’re laser-locked into first-person perspective and having to be brutally precise with the trajectories and angles of attack. On a positive note, the cel-shaded art direction displayed in its levels is pretty cool.

Bizango strikes me as a game that needed more time in the oven. When it works, it’s satisfying and scratches a new itch that I never knew I had, but the times when everything clicks are rare. Skip this one for the time being, but also take note that more and more independent developers are starting to dabble in UDK. I don't know if this has anything to do with the significant royalty change or not, but it's appear as if we're finally hitting that influx of games we've been expecting.

At first glance, Silent Ops looks to take a lot of its inspiration from the popular Splinter Cell series --there’s a lot of sneaking into buildings, a lot of silenced weapons, and a lot of double-crossing.  Take a closer look, however, and you’ll quickly see that any comparison to an actual stealth title is only skin deep. While you may be doing quite a bit of sneaking, your cover is almost always blown every time you take a shot at the opposition, silenced weapon or not. In addition, the whole ‘sneaking’ mechanic is just poorly done, as not only is the cover system poorly implemented, but once you’re spotted, you’re basically in guns blazing mode for the rest of the level.

Not that getting spotted makes the game any harder. The AI in Silent Ops is atrocious. I lost count how many times I’ve seen several enemies just stare at me for seconds on end while I took my time reloading in front of them and then proceeding to empty my clip.  In fact, the only threat I ever encountered was running out of bullets. Not to worry, however, as when that happened I would simply just run up to a group of enemies and they would immediately put their guns away and face me in hand-to-hand combat, each taking their turn in an organized, civilized fashion.

The whole combat system is just bizarre and not done very well. Other gameplay elements include simplistic quick time events as well as a few sniping sections that worked as well as they could within the context of the rest of the game.  Overall Silent Ops' gameplay, like its aged graphics system, just seems to be lackluster.

In addition to the single-player mode, which takes place across seven different levels (coupled with three separate difficulty levels), Silent Ops also features a barebones multiplayer mode. Players can create or join servers with up to 12 total combatants. Stat tracking does exist, but is restricted to games played, total deaths, and total kills. Admittedly, multiplayer was a much more enjoyable experience than the single player mode, but that’s mostly due to the fact that you’re playing against other live players and has nothing to do with anything that the game actually offers.

As iOS has matured as a gaming platform, games in the style of the typical first or third person shooter have become readily available. In this day and age, there’s no reason to flock to a new one just because it fits in this mold, but that’s the impression I get with Silent Ops. There are far more better titles than this one, some even published by Gameloft itself. I’d suggest you stick with one of those other alternatives, and stay away from this game.

The show involves inventors and businessmen entering the "Dragons' Den" and presenting their business idea to a panel of investors, or, "dragons." These entrepreneurs come with a financial goal which must be reached for them to get the money, and the meat of the show involves the dragons duking it out, both with each other as well as the entrepreneurs when it comes to just how much of the business they're getting for that amount of money. In my opinion, this is all wildly interesting as each of the dragons come from a different business background, and potentially have the knowledge and connections to turn a small startup into a multi-million dollar hit.

But how well does a show centralized around intriguing business interactions translate to an iPhone game? Not well at all, to say the least. I'm sure my expectations were far too high, but I was hoping for some kind of depth to the game. Instead, all you're able to do is choose one of the five dragons to play as (which seems to make no difference) at which point you're given three pitches. These business proposals consist of two to three sentences. From there, you're forced to decide whether or not you want to invest, along with how much money you're tossing in (if at all) for how much of a percentage of the business... ...and that's it.

The AI controlled dragons make their offers, and you find out whether the business was a gold mine, a hit, or a flop. Repeat two more times, and the game is over. Whoever made the most money wins. It's annoyingly simple, and the logic that the game's AI uses is weird. Hear a pitch that you're sure will be a gold mine? Well, giving the full investment while wanting a smaller percentage of the business still somehow can result in the entrepreneurs going with another dragon. There's local pass and play multiplayer, but even that doesn't somehow make the core gameplay fun.

The best part of this whole game, is that no dragon would ever invest in it. Also, if your primary region is the US App Store, you can't even download this game if you wanted to. Dragons' Den is only available in select European markets.

International App Store Link: Dragons' Den™ The Official Game, $2.99

See, I've been a Monty Python fan as long as I can remember, and have watched Monty Python and The Holy Grail more times than I could even estimate in my lifetime. I suppose it's my own fault for letting my imagination run wild, but I figured classic Monty Python style Holy Grail humor combined with Angry Birds gameplay could have been a combination that worked incredibly well.

Monty Python's Cow Tossing is based around the point of King Arthur's quest in The Holy Grail where they come across the French stronghold on the search for the grail. After an exchange of taunts, the French claim to have the grail, and Arthur demands it. At this point, the French launch a cow over the wall at Arthur and his men, which is what you'll be doing in Cow Tossing-- Launching farm animals at English knights who are often positioned inside of various structures which will also need to be destroyed, exactly like Angry Birds.

Unfortunately, things go pear shaped quickly. The game takes an incredible amount of time to load each level, even on recent devices. The physics of the game itself are crazy, and not in a good way. Aiming is entirely too difficult, and the additional adjustments that allow you to move the catapult around a bit only serve to make things more convoluted. Also, in the event of you actually hitting a weak point of the English defenses that causes it to fall over, the frame rate often drops to unbelievable levels. There's more that I didn't like, but you probably get the idea.

Despite all this, Monty Python's Cow Tossing does happen to have a few interesting things that are vaguely redeeming. Instead of being limited by the amount of ammo you have, you're forced to complete each level in a certain amount of time. Each level features an English battering ram rolling towards your French defenses, and if this battering ram reaches you, the level is over. The English defenses that you must destroy are often built on top of this battering ram, which forces you to re-adjust your aim with each shot instead of just getting more accurate via trial and error.

Another cool thing is how power ups are handled. They drop from the sky and you can time your shots to match your ammo to its corresponding power-up for a bonus effect. For instance, if you launch a cow through the cartoony bacterium falling from the sky it will turn in to a mad cow and do tons more damage. There are also power-downs to avoid, and launching your animal through them will cause your shot to fall to the ground.

All in all, Monty Python's Cow Tossing is full of wasted potential. There are clips of the movie included, so presumably they had quite a bit of free reign over the Holy Grail IP, which is why it makes so little sense to me how little of the movie's humor actually translates to the game. I was hoping for an absolutely ridiculous parody of Angry Birds, and instead all we really got was a half-baked Angry Birds clone with a Monty Python skin.

The moving battering ram and its associated defenses are a neat feature, and it's nice that they've included some clips from the movie in to the game. Overall, I'd just download Angry Birds and either rent or buy Monty Python and The Holy Grail from iTunes instead.

Dungeon Defenders

A lazy bit of shorthand to describe Dungeon Defenders is "Diablo meets Tower Defense." Dungeon Defenders has the hack-and-slash appeal and the character classes from the former, and the tower building and flow of the latter. Overall, the two mesh into a good whole, providing a ceaseless stream of stimuli to play with.

You'll spend more time hammering away at fantasy foes with the "action" button than anything else, but this basic offense is always in the service of defense of large, neon-blue crystals that sit in the middle of the game's instance-based levels. These crystals have their own health meters, and if foes manage to pummel it to zero, it's game over.

What makes defense manageable is the scripting and flow. A preset number of monsters amble out of spawn doors on scripted routes during each "Wave" of play. You can choose to confront these foes with weapon in hand or set up defensive towers via a character-specific radial menu. But maps are huge and enemies spawn in every possible corner, so towers quickly become the star of the show.

The placement of towers versus your decision to be in a certain place during a certain "Wave" is satisfying and rewarding. And there's no shortage of towers. Each of the four character classes -- the mage, the archer, the knight, and the warrior monk -- have different spins on the same five or so towers, presenting some unique gameplay opportunities when coupled with the Rock, Paper, Scissors nature of the strategy you'll need to consider.

Player-side, the combat boils down to basic hack-and-slash. Each of the classes do bring their own style of combat, which helps to mix it up, and the loot and grind lust that the game encourages with its constant drops keeps things interesting, too.

Dungeon Defenders has a neat online multiplayer compliment to the play and the characters are balanced in such a way to provide a rich experience. The catch is that the single-player balance is off, so you'll need to get with some pals to push through the later levels.

For the most part, the network code appears to be stable. You'll encounter a fair amount of latency and matchmaking oddness as you get into and attempt to find matches. And the lack of voice chat is annoying on a fundamental strategy level.

If the game controlled well, this would easily be a highly recommended game. Alas, the controls and interface are terrible. It's painfully obvious that this is a game designed foremost and balanced for a dual-analog controller. Instead of integrating good touch-based controls, Trendy Entertainment has chose to just put all of a controller's functionality up on the screen. It's littered with buttons, bubbles, and dials to the extent that they obscure play.

But Dungeon Defenders is also fundamentally an awkward game to move around in, in part, due to the terrible 3D camera which needs to be babysat with an on-screen pad. As you can see below in the image of the game's overlay, the camera control is not in a convenient or intuitive location, meaning you have to take your eyes and hands off the action in order to swivel the camera to a sensible spot. Also, a virtual d-pad for movement?

(Edit:  There's a virtual joystick-less control option that you can turn on from the game's menu, but it's no good.)

Dungeon Defenders iOS is a deep, sometimes entertaining game… but the controls are a core, critical, nasty flaw that I don't think can be "fixed" or addressed in any meaningful way. The game, quite simply, requires all the stuff the UI is lit up with. There's a chance that if you're the kind of guy who can play, say, Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light without issues, you might be able to get into this one. If you're not, I'd stay away from Dungeon Defenders until it hits Xbox Live Arcade, PSN, and PC at some point.

Just a note: Dungeon Defenders is a Universal App. Playing on an iPad does reduce the UI clutter by virtue of being a bigger screen, but it's still a mess and doesn't alleviate any of overwhelming button overload going on here.

Instead of just choosing a location, selecting your hunting load out, and just shooting whatever animals are on the horizon, Dangerous Hunts has you actively stalking prey. Also, more often than not, your prey is also stalking you. It sounds like the workings of a real cool game, as you're left wandering about the African wilderness after animals that are just as interested in killing you as you are in killing them. Unfortunately, the cool premise is about all there is to it.

Dangerous Hunts is controlled via a dual-stick setup that anyone who has played an iPhone first person shooter should be immediately familiar with. Virtual buttons handle things like changing weapons, reloading, looking down your sights (or scope), and other tasks. Gameplay consists of following various checkpoints on your mini-map, completing tasks that almost always involve hunting some animals, and making your way to the end of the level.

There's a foundation for something really compelling here, especially in a genre that is overloaded with games that don't offer a whole lot of freedom of movement, story, or gameplay. Sadly, the graphics of the game make it really hard to ever feel immersed in the game world. One of the early levels involves slowly creeping up a winding path to a village that has been decimated by some kind of feral animal. After taking a detour to make your way around a closed gate, you find yourself attacked by wild bloodthirsty hyenas.

There's room for lots of suspense here, as the buildup has potential to really lead to something, but the incredibly low resolution textures, barren landscape (save a few low-res trees and shrubs here and there) and the low polygon poorly animated hyenas themselves all ruin it. Following that, you get alerted via your radio that there's a lion nearby. Moments later, he's pouncing on your face, leading up to what could have been a neat quick-time event. Instead, an image of a lion appears on screen and you simply have to tap the circles that appear to kill it.

A second shooting gallery mode is included in the game as well, but it is basically what you'd expect out of a game that really needs a light gun but instead just has you using your finger to tap. Interestingly enough, Activision did bundle OpenFeint with Dangerous Hunts, so there is a bit of replay value to be had if you find yourself getting involved in the online leaderboards for who can mow down the most wolves.

I admit I was totally stoked to hear that Cabela's Dangerous Hunts 2011 was coming to the App Store when we first got news, having followed some of the insanely cool previews of the home console version (which also comes packed with its own light gun). However, visuals that look incredibly dated make any kind of immersion impossible and ultimately ruin what could have been a really cool blend of hunting and adventure/survival games for the iPhone.

1942: First Strike is said to be inspired by the game 1942: Joint Strike that graced the Xbox Live Arcade and Playstation Network a couple years ago. While those games were slightly mundane gameplay-wise, they at the very least showcased some excellent 3D high def graphics that really brought the classic franchise into this new generation. This is not the case here. The iPhone version features tiny plane and enemy sprites and boring backdrops. It's colorful, but not very interesting. The music is really quite excellent, but the sound effects lack any substance and destroying enemies is met with a whimper rather than a boom.

I could excuse the disappointing graphics if the gameplay was entertaining, but sadly this isn't the case either. The major fault of 1942: First Strike is in the controls. The gameplay area is fairly wide, which makes the screen scroll left or right when you fly in those directions. The sensitivity in the scrolling is just way off and creates a totally disorienting experience. If a row of enemies is coming towards you, and you need to scoot just a smidgen over to line up your aim, likely that will send the playfield scrolling too hard and your plane slamming right into enemies or incoming fire. Adjusting the sensitivity or using tilt helps a tiny bit, but not really. It's just not something I could get used to, and it ruins a game that requires high precision.

Even if the controls worked better, there's nothing here you haven't seen before. Enemy attack patterns and your own special weapons are all garden variety, and if not for the controls, the game would likely be too short and easy. There are a couple things to like about the game, though. As mentioned the music is well done, as are the different menu graphics. Some nifty full motion cutscenes are shown prior to beginning levels or fighting a boss, although they seem to repeat often.

None of these good marks outweigh the bad though, and at best 1942: First Strike feels like a Java game that might have impressed on mobile 5 years ago. It's unfortunate and surprising that such a beloved franchise received such poor treatment.

The objective of Riddim Ribbon is to guide a ball down a track, and tilt your device to follow a green line that moves left and right to one of the three songs you select on the main screen. When you stray from the track, the music begins to fade out until you're only hearing the faint backbeat to the song. Laid out on the green line are silver spheres to pick up, ramps to jump over, and hoops to jump through. All of these different pickups and obstacles are arranged so you're hitting them with the beat of the song, an experience that's actually pretty cool if you haven't played a similar racing rhythm game before.

As you're rolling down the tracks in Riddim Ribbon, you will be faced with both forks in the road and ramps that lead to secondary portions of track that allow you to mix the song by turning or jumping up on to the same portion of the song remixed by one of a number of different DJ's included in the game. By replaying individual songs and choosing different paths to take, you can come up with a number of different remixes of the same song.

Riddim Ribbon is a game that sounds really cool when you describe it, yet it somehow manages to be not that fun at all when you're playing it. The way the music is visualized is great, and the tracks are laid out very well to match each song. Unfortunately, it doesn't take long to get bored of the three included songs, and the tilt controls are frustrating.

Instead of like most racing games where you tilt to move right or left, then hold your device level straight to go straight, the amount you tilt directly translates to your position on the track. This causes you to spend most of your time holding your device at an awkward angle instead of making small tilting movements to steer as you're probably used to if you've played many racing games on the platform.

As mentioned previously, the way you interact with the music in the game is really neat but by default an announcer is almost constantly talking over it telling you how "dope" and "ill" your performance is along with announcing the many checkpoints on each song. It likely won't take you long to turn this off in the options.

Riddim Ribbon is a great idea for a game that ultimately is ruined by frustrating controls and gameplay which is too easy to get bored of.

App Store Link: Riddim Ribbon feat. The Black Eyed Peas, $2.99

1000: Find 'Em All! [App Store] is as much an abstract as it is the title. You are tasked with simply finding and collecting 1000 items-- that is the extent of the what, but it's the how which really sets 1000: Find 'Em All! apart.

The first method of collecting items is the easiest. You navigate your character by dragging him around a lifeless but gorgeously crafted in-game world; leaving a trail of sunshine, rainbows and lollipops behind you. Well, maybe not lollipops, but your very presence injects color and life into your surroundings-- flowers will sprout, grass will turn green, objects will animate-- for anyone that's tried their hand at De Blob [$3.99 / Free], you'll know what I'm on about. And every now and then you'll stumble across a sparkling item and tapping on it may or may not reveal an item to collect.

This is all well and good but still largely derivative. It's the second and third means of discovering items that really bring something new to the table. Making use of the iPhone's in-build GPS and in partnership with Google Maps, 1000: Find 'Em All! will populate your neighbourhood and surroundings with virtual items simply by the press of a button. A map of your area will download and presents will pop-up all over the place; Christmas only coming early to those willing to physically move to the highlighted locations. In a similar fashion the third and final means of collecting items also interacts with the real world; virtual 'Gifters' appearing at different WiFi hotspots that you may come across to bestow presents on you. At this point you may be thinking what I was-- if only Glu Mobile were in league with Starbucks or McDonalds we could be gifted some serious rewards for our exertions.

In any case, 1000: Find 'Em All! comes packaged with a raft of achievements, not only to do with the number of items collected and the percentage of the game world colored, but also concerning how items are collected (presumably to encourage players not to just sit at home). Collected items can only be interacted with as far as their tooltip, and whilst they can be quite funny or informative, they really serve no other purpose than as trophies.

Whether this worldwide scavenger hunt will appeal to you is really quite up to you as an individual. I can see how some may rally to the idea of having something interesting to distract them while they're out. Personally, I could not depart from the feeling that it was too gimmicky and ultimately superfluous-- that it demanded too much from you for it to be worth your while. If anything, it seems more suited to those with kids, to encourage a little out-and-about time whilst still whetting the little monsters' insatiable appetites for technology.

It's disappointing that finding and collecting items is really all there is to do in 1000: Find 'Em All! though, as the game world is rich and detailed and screaming for further interaction. But for all you budding treasure-hunters out there, finding 1000 items is sure to occupy you for a very long time, and you may actually take something from 1000: Find 'Em All! if you're willing to brave the elements to do so.

Please note that only the iPhone is supported due to the GPS requirements, and only if you have OS 3.0 installed.

App Store Link: 1000: Find 'Em All!, $2.99.

Schwartz and Kiymaz decided to try and develop a full-featured iPhone game, including all of the art, animation, music, sound effects, and everything, all within a single day -- 24 hours. And before the starting pistol fired, the duo opened up the design to the iPhone gaming community.

The design will be based around one word: 'Absurdity'
You're the designer. Go.

After amassing ideas from the community, the timer started and the code began to flow. The team live-blogged the entire process in a thread in our own forums (which they've since summarized on their own blog).

And did they succeed in their mission? Well, despite delivering the game one entire minute late (we'll cut the guys some slack...), we'd definitely call the effort an impressive success. With the help of the online Touch Arcade community for ideas (forum member Sailor Jensen provided the winning concept) and a few developers from the Boston indie community for assistance with art and music (Matt Board, Beth Beinke, Steve Trenkamp), Super Ramen BROTHers quickly sprang to life, and is now available as a free App Store download [link].

And what's this hastily wrought title all about? Well, you control both of the Ramen brothers as they flee down the cashier's conveyor belt in an effort to avoid that laser scanning thing and, ultimately, two cups of boiling, stovetop death. In their flight, down the three-lane conveyor belt, they must jump or dodge (tap or drag) other grocery items, as every collision jolts the Ramen packs back one notch closer to doom. Soy sauce packets picked up along the way help the Ramen brothers edge back forward towards freedom. AGON community integration provides leaderboard tracking -- an impressive touch for a one-day app.

See the devs' video for a look at the gameplay.

Super Ramen BROTHers is certainly not the best iPhone game we've ever played. But then, that wasn't really the point. Hats off to all involved in showing that it doesn't necessarily take a year of your life to get an iPhone game to the App Store. Surely their efforts here will inspire a number of would-be iPhone developers to give it a shake. What's more, the game is actually pretty fun to play. Give it a try.

App Store Link: Super Ramen BROTHers, Free

The problem is, none of these minigames are particularly fun once the initial novelty wears off which only takes a few moments. On top of that, some are easy to fail, and when you do the entire level must be reloaded. If you're doing poorly, you will spend more time waiting for the game to load to try again than you will actually playing the game itself. Robo Stewie is probably the best game of the bunch as a sidescrolling platformer, but even it can't really stand alone in terms of gameplay.

Overall Family Guy: Uncensored has a feel to it that is very similar to the movie or TV show based games of the 8 and 16 bit era. The game doesn't at all utilize the Family Guy elements in a particularly amusing way, and instead leans heavily on catch phrases and attempts at humor to prop up a decidedly mediocre set of mini games. Amusingly enough, for a game branded as "Uncensored", Family Guy is only rated 12+ on iTunes.

If you do happen to like any of the mini games, you can play higher levels of difficulty once you've unlocked them, and 3 additional mini-games are promised in a free update. At this point, we believe only the most die-hard Family Guy fan will likely derive enough entertainment from this game to warrant its purchase.

App Store Link: Family Guy: Uncensored, $4.99