Battle Bears NOPZ: Swag and Secrets (FINAL Door open) and A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT (pg 53)

Alas, children, the contest is over before it truly began. I would like to sincerely thank all of those who participated, but we DO have a winner.

BOARDUMB has unsheathed his victory sword and plunged it into the very heart of competitive play, earning himself this:



What you have there, BOARDUMB, is extremely valuable. Not only has it been signed by my boss, the creator of Battle Bears Benjamin Vu, but it's also a shiny bit of paper that has my own name on it and, as everyone knows, if I am given a shiny piece of paper with my name on it, I explode into a visceral shower of awesomeness and prizes/goodies.

ALSO, everyone, once you win a ticket you CANNOT WIN AGAIN. There will be a chance to win a ticket each week until the end of the contest.

The puzzle will remain up on battlebears.com for as long as the internets Bandwidth of Awesome holds out so please feel free to attempt it anyway. The final image is a teaser that has to do with our upcoming game Battle Bears: NOPZ

Speaking of Battle Bears, we've just put the game on sale AGAIN in the iTunes store for a 99 cent Snow Day sale! That one is for all you unfortunates on the east coast that are buried face high in snow right now... The rest of you can take advantage of the sale, too

So, be sure to run your fanny over to the iTunes store to pick up Battle Bears: OPF before time runs out!

 

:C

I'm so sorry. You totally DID send it, but it just wasn't fast enough. Fear not, come back here next week and you'll have an EQUALLY THRILLING change to win

 

Don't be confused, the answer is simple.

What I will becomes so. If I wish for a few select people to have Christmas in April, HOHOHOCHRISTMAS IN APRIL. The universe operates on the principle that I'm awesome and the very of fabric of space time bends to the corresponding degree of how tightly I can clench my steely buns together.

That's right, I seduce time with my buttocks.

I do it for you. <3 For everyone here.<3

Please stick around and enjoy this year's Practice Christmas ;D

 

Good afternoon my Sugar Blanketed Cuddle Fish <3

In light of the government explicitly stating that I need to be more loving than usual to my significant other over the weekend (specifically Sunday), I've used my sway and the intimidation of my very muscly, well oiled arm to coerce John (our resident Flash and After Effects Wizard) to make me up a sweet Battle Bears valentine <3



And THIS ONE



I share these with you all in the hopes that you might bring forced joy to the ones you love. Or, should you not have another to share it with, print these off and give them to yourself, from me :*

Kisses,
Lt. Action

 

FIVE DAYS. You've all had five days to recharge and steel yourselves for the incoming proverbial battering ram of AWESOME that is my very presence.

It was for everyone's safety that I took a few days respite from the forums. THAT and I need to use my brain organ to come up with things.

Things like THIS!



Please pretend it is less green and more gold in color. The internets obviously cannot remain structurally sound without toning down THE BRILLIANCE of that door.

That door? What is that door? You may never, ever know. However, if you were one for context clues, it's actually pretty obvious.

OH! and how could I forget this, the image from last week's PUZZLE CHALLENGE!



An image like that, son, we gots to give mad PROPS, mad props ALL AROUND. It goes down with such a smooth TEXTURE that peeps be all "dang, cousin!". The ladies be lining up to witness my science, get a peek at my NEW swagger, my GAME, if you will.

Werd.

Oh, also, don't foget' to HOLLA back tomorrow cause I feel another secret coming on ;D

 

Funny you should mention my Herculean derriere as I will be taking the next thirty minutes to apply to it creamy premium butter.

Why, you ask? So that I may streak across the screen, riding upon nothing but the pure buttered speed of my buttocks, as I leave globules of secrets behind for everyone to savor in their mind mouths.

THIRTY MINUTES. Give me about a half hour and I'll open up the NEXT DOOR D

Oh, yes, and the Golden Tickets may or may not relate directly to that big giant door with the Golden Ticket Reader/Receptacle attached to the wall near it.

 

It's about that time again

TIME TO OPEN UP ANOTHER DOOR!

Today's door opens as follows: with pain and frustration that will ultimately lead you to riches beyond your WILDEST imagination... as long as you're imagination isn't that wild.

BEHOLD!



This here is [ERROR:NAMEUNAVAILABLE], he has filled his pipe and he has a problem. He's lazy. This would normally be a problem between him and his boss, however, he noticed YOU weren't doing anything and has thus delegated his assigned task to you, successfully making it YOUR problem; that being piecing together and then visiting the above URL.

Complete the "puzzle", visit the url and send me an e-mail ([email protected]) containing what you THINK this lazy pile's name actually is. The first 20 people that send me a correct answer (don't worry, I'm mostly pretty work-phobic myself and a lot of answers will be considered "correct") will be entered into a drawing for the next Golden Ticket.

So, to reiterate for the ADD crowd amongst us:
A: Unjumble the URL.
B: Go to that URL.
C: Use the clues in the URL to guess this new bear's name.
D: E-mail that name to me ([email protected])
E: If at any point over the course of A-D you come back here and write your guess into the topic for everyone to see, I will slap you and I will slap you hard.
F: If at any point over the course of A-D you unjumble the URL and post it for everyone to see, refer to "E".

*NOTE: The URL IS case sensitive.

THE FIRST 20 CORRECT ANSWERS ARE PUT INTO THE DRAWING! You have until WEDNESDAY. GOGOGOGOGO!

HINT: The "S" is upper case ;D